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granted; others, we've tried to spare you from.
Yeah, well, bad choice. Now, tell me.
All right. Pietr pulled back up the comforter around
them and settled in. I guess I'll start with the beginning.
Himika aren't born with the ability to communicate;
it doesn't develop until late puberty. When it does, we
have to learn to shield ourselves, just like you do. The
adults around a teen can sense when the powers are
about to break through. Then you're sent to a retreat
where you get a mentor to help you wake your powers
fully. You learn how to use them and how to shield
yourself. Aki is one of the best. He was my mentor, too.
Matt could feel the contradictory feelings in Pietr's
mind: affection, dislike, admiration.
Why are you so conflicted about it?
Pietr hesitated. It isn't easy. Your mentor brings out
these strange powers and then he pounds your mind
again and again until you can protect yourself. Then
comes all the details; how to communicate directly, how
to listen, how to hide. It can take weeks, and it's the
hardest work most of us will ever do. People pass out,
cry, break down. And still you have to go on, you have
to learn.
Himiko: Bonding - 79
At the same time, you know that the best and the
hardest mentors will make you stronger, more fit for the
life to come. If they go soft on you, then you won't be
able to cope when you go back to your life.
Matt really didn't want to ask his next question, but
he had to.
What happens if I don't learn?
If a Himiko has weak shielding skills, then he has to
be protected. Some move far away from civilization, but
most live in retreats. There, they have insulated cells like
this where they are protected. They can work, and most
can interact a bit with others if they keep away from
crowds, but it isn't an ideal situation.
Matt got an image of a convent-like building with
people studying in their cells. They don't seem unhappy?
They aren't, and some of our greatest thinkers are
weak. But it's not a very full life, is it?
And me? What if I don't learn?
For a moment, Pietr's mind was fully neutral, feelings
hidden away, then he spoke.
You have to learn. He sounded apologetic. I'm so
sorry to put this burden on you, baby, but you have to
learn. I can't be separated from you, and I can't go into
a retreat. I'm needed here. You have to let Aki show you.
If it's any comfort, you're doing really well.
Yeah, sure. Nice try.
No, I'm not trying to be kind. You're extremely strong
and nearly had your walls up against Aki in one of your
first sessions. Nobody does that. But your strength is
also your weakness; you're too stubborn to give in. Pietr
felt strange, not entirely open to him.
You're hiding something for me.
Pietr sighed. Yes, I am. It's just a lot to spring on you
all at once.
Well, I don't feel any better now.
Himiko: Bonding - 80
I'm really sorry, baby. But because you're this strong,
you can't be around other Himika until you learn. You're
blowing their minds.
So, we're back to the fact that I have to learn, huh?
Matt felt rebellious. Then show me. Who says it has to
be the drill sergeant from hell who teaches me? You did
just fine in teaching me how to walk again.
But I can't! We're still so newly bonded that neither
of us can take being shut out. It will be easier later on,
but right now we have to be together.
Then show me how to build the wall without finishing
it. It can't be that hard.
He could sense the hesitation in Pietr.
You said it yourself: I have to learn. Show me.
Pietr gave in. Reluctantly, the Himiko showed Matt
how to put up a wall. It didn't completely shut Matt out,
but it still made a sickening feeling surge through him
until Pietr let it go. It hadn't seemed difficult, though;
without Aki pounding on his senses, it was much easier
to understand how to do it.
Now you, Pietr said.
Matt concentrated hard and let his mind shape a
barrier. Suddenly, he was all alone, and a wave of
sickness hit him.
Pietr's eyes rolled back in his head and he started
convulsing.
"Fuck!" Matt tore down the barrier and grabbed Pietr,
shaking him. "Pietr! Wake up, come on." Please stay
with me. He went into Pietr's mind, the relief from
sensing his mate again immense. I'm so sorry, baby; I
didn't mean to do that.
Pietr laughed weakly in his head. See? You're strong.
Please don't do that again.
I won't!
Himiko: Bonding - 81
At least you learned how to do it. Now I think it
would be very wise to work on how to include me in
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