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making you beg for me to be inside you. I'll end with your mouth as I slam so hard into you that every
part of you hands itself over to me, knowing I'm the only man that can satisfy you like this.
I rub myself harder and harder with every word he delivers.
I want it rough, Jay. I want it so deep inside me that there is nothing else to think about but how
you overtake my body and consume me.
I hear him groaning and panting, vigorously stroking himself.
Lily, baby, he's breathless in a way that tells me he's close.
I want you to pull out and come all over me. I want to see how good I make you feel.
Oh, fuck, Jay moans and his release has mine shortly following. I pull my pillow to my mouth,
biting into it to keep from crying out loud.
That was hot, Lily, he pants. But I think somehow I want you more than I did when I called.
I know what he means. It has only reminded me of how our bodies connect when they are
together, how incredible it feels to have his hands, body, and lips on me and inside me.
We stay silent for a few minutes, content just to hear the other breathing, then we start talking
about random mundane things until we start to nod off. I think we both might finally get a good night's
rest.
Chapter 11
Saturday, March 1
7:19pm
Is that guy going to be there? The one Naomi keeps trying to set you up with? Jay asks when I
tell him I'm getting ready for a party at Naomi's brother's place.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's why she was so persistent that I go. I'm very close to Naomi's
family and go to most parties they have, so I know the only reason she kept pestering me about it had
to be because of Nate.
It's really fucking hard for me to not get on a plane right now and take you to that party, making
sure every male there knows you're mine, he grinds out, working his jaw. Seriously, Lily, my
temperature's rising at the idea of some guy even looking at you.
You know it doesn't matter, right? That I'm not interested in him, or anyone? I only want you.
Sometimes Jay's possessiveness is hot and sometimes it makes me wary, afraid he'll try to control
where I go and who I talk to.
He doesn't answer and I can hear him pacing the floor.
Do you not want me to go? I'm fearful to ask, but it's important I know his answer in case I
need to make it clear that nobody controls what I do but me.
No, he sounds confused. Why wouldn't I? I mean, do I like that you're going to a party with
other guys? Hell fucking no. Am I going to be thinking about who's hitting on you all night? Every
fucking second. But I wouldn't want you not to go just because I have jealousy issues.
I think I just fell more in love with you, Jay. And I have. It's overwhelming, the ferocity with
which I love him, how rooted into me he has become in such a short amount of time, but I'm not sure it
could have been any other way with him.
Lily. Jay's voice turns dead serious and I can hear he's stopped pacing, I need you to be
honest with me.
Of course.
Why does Noami want you with this guy so bad?
I hadn't a clue what Jay was going to ask, but that sure wasn't it.
Softened truth or the hard truth?
With you? Hard. Always.
I laugh at how suggestive he made that.
He recently broke up with his girlfriend and was asking about me. Naomi remembers the mad
crush I had on him and thinks it's time I started dating again.
Didn't you say Noami doesn't approve of anyone? So why him?
Yes, but he's been her brother's longest friend and she knows what a great guy he is.
Oh, is Jay's quiet reply. What makes him so great?
This is an awkward conversation to be having with Jay. I don't understand why he wants to know
all this. Inquiring too much about something is my thing. Um, well, he owns and runs a martial arts
studio and twice a week gives free lessons at the women's shelter Stevie volunteers at, and gives any
child who can't afford it free lessons. He's basically always been a really personable, giving, kind
person.
The silence that follows makes me wish that I had toned down my honesty.
He's who you would have ended up with if I hadn't been selfish and had kept my distance from
you, he utters, dry and matter-of-fact.
Shit, I should have known Jay would turn this into him not feeling good enough for me. How do I
make him understand he's all my heart wants, that's he's the only man I could ever love this deeply?
We complete the other in ways no one else ever could, teaching one another things about ourselves
we wouldn't have known otherwise.
Just as I'm about to share all this and pour my heart out to him, Stevie and Naomi come bursting
into my bedroom, giggling and ready to go party.
I wave them out of my room so I can finish talking to Jay, Give me a minute. I'll meet you at the
car.
Of course they ignore me and come closer.
Is that the guy you keep secretly talking to? Stevie questions, trying to sneak a peak at the
screen.
I shoo her away with my hand as Naomi comes tromping over, No way, Lily. I'm not letting
whoever that is to make you depressed and ruin our evening.
Naomi snatches my phone, I don't know who you are or why you keep calling her, but it needs to
stop.
I claw at her to get the phone back, but she's quick and heads out of my room.
She lives for these calls, and doesn't want to leave the house on her free time in case she misses
one.
Naomi! I cry, chasing after her. Damn her, I'm sick of her thinking I need her to hold my hand
through life.
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